


Longing

by Tiffsyyy



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, checks, enjoy my fetus day fic, exes who still love each other, febraury 2018, this was from
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 12:05:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18475879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiffsyyy/pseuds/Tiffsyyy
Summary: The longing is what took their lives





	Longing

**Vernon**

 

_step_

_step_

_step_

_walk_

_walk_

_walk_

 

Leaves a crunching under my feet

 

_step_

_crunch_

_crunch_

_step_

_walk_

_walk_

_step_

 

All around me are memories. All I see are memories. The corner before the coffee shop where we shared our first kiss. The garden who watched our love blossom. The garden's trees. It's leaves fall as if to grieve tonight. Our parting's anniversary. All these things seem to be mocking how I feel. I force myself to toughen up– I can't let people see the heavy anxiety plastered on my face

 

I take a deep breath. A big step into the coffee shop.

 

I take a seat and order your favorite drink. Mocha Latte. Then, I made the mistake of looking up from the menu.

 

It's you

 

Mingyu

 

The menu is taken from me. I watched you. Your smile never once faltered as you talked to your girl.

 

The coffee arrives. I looked down, to my coffee. My reflection on the surface seemed to betrayed me. It showed a pair of pathetic, sorrowful eyes

 

It seems you are well.

 

Turns out without me, your smile remains

 

At that very moment, I bottle up my sorrow. Locking it in a cage.

 

Throwing the key away that it may never show

 

The love is still there and it hurts me so. I remember out first Christmas together where we sang carols. Our love was strong then. Now, this live has become strange, distant, sad.

 

I thought I was cool before for letting you go. Letting this so-called non-existent love go. What lies. What act. Turns out, I was lying to myself. I pierced my own heart with the knife I made

 

I now lie trapped in a pool of our memories

 

Out eyes meet. I saw the look in your eyes. Please forgive this mournful look of mine. Please don't looks at me that way. Please don't tear down this final shield of mine.

 

_**Please don't give me the longing that poisons me.** _

__

—

 

**Mingyu**

 

 

A girl I deemed my girlfriend. We talk. I sip my coffee but as a look up, pass her head, I saw you. Sipping your coffee.

 

I've never felt so greedy. Vernon, call me if you remember my name. We parted a year ago tonight. A year ago tonight, you broke up with me. It broke me so hard. We make eye contact. I plead you through the telepathic connection.

 

Babe, where have you been? Why are you so far now? You're right there in front of me. So why do you feel so distant? Your eyes avoided mine.

 

"Gyu?" The girl I no longer remember calls. I fake a smile and replied to her question. You used to be the one and I used to be yours. What happened?

 

I swear you leave from the corner of my eyes. I stayed a little before I too took my leave. That was probably the last time I saw you

 

As I walked home, I thought of our past. Our memories. The memories that brought you and I back. I admit. I was wrong and you were right. I wonder if I had listened to you one more time. Maybe we would still be one. I wonder if I had listened to you one more [time.aybe](http://time.aybe/) we would still be one.

 

I was close to my home now. I could feel myself falling. Around me, everyone was happy. But tonight, I'm alone and broken

 

Everytime I close my eyes, I see yours. So I look into the sky. The sky looks beautiful, even I'm the freezing winter. The garden that witnessed our first date has shining lights on our crestfallen trees. What is this? I can't stand this ironic night

 

"Vernon. Blocked." I whispered to myself. My breath in forms of white mist leaving me like how you did. But I could still see you. Your laugh rings in my ears. Please don't make my eyes cry. Please let me block you from my mind.

 

_Drip_

_Drip_

_Drip_

My heart screams in agony

 

I get home, my eyes teary. My heart broken once more. I get my razor and uncover my wrist. My scar-kissed skin smiles back at me.

 

I cut into a clean spot. This time, it was a significantly deep cut.

 

_I smile as I see blood gushing_

_I smile as it drips to the floor_

_I smile as I felt my body weaken_

_I smiled even though I see Grimm Reaper_

_I smile as I reach Oblivion_

 

—

 

**_The longing that killed him has left_ **

 

—

 

The next morning, Vernon gets a text message. His eyes widened. What has he done? He could do nothing but cry

 

>      [Friend]
> 
>    <Mingyu committed
> 
>     suicide
> 
>  

 

_**The longing between them took it's sacrifice** _

**Author's Note:**

> based on Lay Zhang's Goodbye Christmas 
> 
> -Chinese version for Vernon  
> -English version for Mingyu


End file.
